Not Any More Boss

Men, imagine a world where you can date the hottest women on the planet with absolute confidence. No more “Will she or won’t she?” “What should I say?” or “What if she just doesn’t dig me?” No more. . . “She’s Out of My League.”

These banal insecurities are now the sole and exclusive domain of washout guys who have to beg for scraps. In other words, if you’ve got the money then scrap the dating scene and be a Sugar Daddy. Let the illiquid and uninformed frustrate themselves night after night by associating with women who don’t know the lay of the land. You’ve worked hard to get where you are and now is the time for you to enjoy yourself to absolute legal limits.

Sugar Daddies call the shots, in the bedroom and out. Sugar Daddy Dating is the world’s purest example of the Golden Rule; you’ve got the gold so you warp the rules to fit your own self-serving agenda. There are more Sugar Babies who will dance to your beat than you could ever imagine. I mean THOUSANDS of them; and they are all HOT-HOT-HOT.

Women are no fools. They know that the ratio of Sugar Babies to Sugar Daddies is about 20-1, so the ones that are in the game are in it to win it. Picture, if you will, 20 women fighting for your attention and affection like starving lions; pouring on the sultry sex appeal like honey being drenched over a giant bowl of sugar cubes. Nothing could be sweeter.

The best part of the Sugar Daddy Dating scene is that you can pull the plug at any time if the game is not going your way. She’s too tall, next; her hair isn’t quite right, next; talks too much, next-next-next. You are officially out of her league more often than not.

The days of worshipping that blonde hottie from afar because you were pretty damn sure she was dating some hotshot, polo-playing millionaire are OVER. You are that hot shot millionaire now so step up and take your reward, take it with pride and without hesitation.

Take a flyer guys!

The competition to hook a Sugar Daddy has become so fierce that many women consider it a career. They’re hitting the gym twice as much as they used to, highlighting a dog-eared copy of the Kama Sutra while getting some radical hair extensions and scheming with every last bit of their female wiles how to win you over and blow your mind in bed.

The traditional dating dynamic has been knocked on its ass by a bad economy and a raging polarization of the haves and have nots. Men, if you’re fortunate enough to be one of the haves then you owe it to all those struggling bastards who came before you to cowboy up and wrangle as many Sugar Babies as is economically possible.

Think of your poor grandfather who came to this country and drank cheap beer while fantasizing over women like Greta Garbo and Veronica Lake (if you don’t know who they are then trust me, they are way hot). The guy never even had a remote shot at hedonistic pleasure.

He worked 60 hours a week, swallowed his pride along with a lot of overcooked chicken, paid the mortgage and sent your old man to college. You owe it to good old Gramps to post a Sugar Daddy personal NOW and drag your fair share of smokin’ tail back to the man cave.

There were tons of women that were out of his league, but this cosmic injustice has been righted. Sugar Daddy Dating is to men (real men anyway) what cheese is to pizza; the two need each other to achieve their full potential.

She’s Out of My League – no way brother. You own the league.

Here’s why.

After the basics of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs have been satisfied (food, shelter, acceptance, why am I? a Mercedes, second home and a Donzi) men get a little restless. They begin searching the globe for that last Faberge Egg, a Picasso or two that may have been overlooked at auction and anything else that is rare, expensive and most of all BEAUTIFUL.

The more beautiful, the better. What else is a guy with a load of cash and a ton of free time supposed to do with his life?

His most logical choice is the pursuit of outrageously beautiful women, and the more they cost, the better he feels about himself. All wealthy Sugar Daddies know that the most effective way to rate beauty is to attach a dollar figure to it. The more it costs, the hotter it is. You can’t argue with this kind of logic. I mean, you can, but you’re going to lose.

The reason wealthy men are more than willing to spend HUGE dollars to attract the affections of beautiful women is very simple. You can’t tool around town with the Picasso under your arm. You can’t kick it poolside with the Faberge Egg and as for the speedboat or hot car, once they’re in the marina or parked in the lot no one knows that either are yours.

Welcome To The Jungle

A woman, a really beautiful woman, is the only true way for a real Sugar Daddy to prove to the world that he is a screaming success. The first class Sugar Daddy knows that when he locks eyes from across the room with another Sugar Daddy of equal or greater status, the decision as to which one dominates the encounter hinges solely on the beauty of the Sugar Baby draped on his arm.

There’s no judge or point system that’s going to dictate which man is the winner and which one is the loser in this confrontation that may last three, maybe five seconds if it goes into overtime. There won’t be a buzzer or a bell, his name won’t be in the headlines the next morning and he’ll never hear his name chanted by the roaring crowd as he spikes the ball in the end zone.

But you had better know that at the end of this clash of the Sugar Daddies each man knows FOR SURE who’s the top dog and who’s just a mutt. You’ll miss the outcome if you blink, so pay attention.

The side of one man’s mouth will curl up ever so slightly in the slyest of grins and the other, defeated Sugar Daddy will look away, shamed. That’s it. It’s over.

So the next time someone tells you that beauty isn’t everything, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, don’t even waste your precious breath setting them straight. Just look them dead in the eye, give them a sly grin and let them seethe with envy because of your scorching hot Sugar Baby.

You’re probably familiar with the terms Sugar Daddy, Sugar Baby, Sugar Mommy and Sugar Pup, but just what is a Sugar Angel?

We’re glad you asked.

A Sugar Angel is a full-time Sugar Baby, but one that brings a lot more to the table than just breathtaking beauty. She is poised, intelligent and has star power. She’s the type of woman you can count on to get you on “The List” at the hottest nightclub in Manhattan, to schmooze your law partners into intoxicated trances, and to turn every head, male or female, when she walks into the room.

The Sugar Angel

Sugar Angels are indeed a rare breed. They take pride in their chosen profession and work to stay ahead of the game. She can usually speak more than one language, reads the WSJ on the elliptical trainer every morning without fail, and attends Pilate’s classes with the dedication of an Olympic athlete.

The Sugar Angel can tell the difference between a Harry Winston and a cubic zirconia from a block away. She can confidently order from a wine list, even if it’s in Italian, and her wardrobe is so extensive that no one alive has ever seen her wear the same thing twice.

Her past is mysterious and she is adept at keeping her personal life private, but she is consistent, dependable and a consummate professional. She is meticulous and punctual without sacrificing passion for life.

The Sugar Angel has been to the Cannes Film Festival more than once and is always ready to tell you about her last trip to Vail. She seems to know everyone no matter where she goes and makes loyal friends with a single glance of her piercing blue eyes. You can’t help but love her. Her charms cannot be resisted.

The Sugar Angel’s looks are flawless, from her perfect face down to her always pedied feet, but hold onto your hats gentlemen; she definitely doesn’t come cheap.

If you don’t have a budget of at least $20,000 a month, don’t bother pushing the “send” key on that next e-mail. She takes you seriously so take her seriously. However, for the man fortunate enough to afford the very best, there is no substitute for the Sugar Angel. She is the limited edition Mercedes of the Sugar Daddy dating scene.

Oh, and one last thing, she never negotiates.